Why Is Seattle So Unfriendly? A Local’s Take on The City’s Icy Reputation

Article Summary: 

• Seattle is infamous for its unfriendly reputation, coined the Seattle Freeze.

A pleasant surprise for us! It’s in the same place as the Tomba di Giulietta (Juliet’s Tomb, another underwhelming spot), but the museum piece contains many pretty incredible well-preserved frescoes.

• Seattle’s location and climate attract introverted, artistic types and outdoor enthusiasts who may differ from those in your hometown, but exploring diversity is part of traveling.
• Embrace the Seattle way of life and engage locals by initiating, venturing outdoors, and perhaps by joining a Travel Lemming community meet-up.

The question “Why are Seattleites so unfriendly?” is often posed. It has basically become customary for individuals relocating to the city and a routine talking point for people who have never set foot within its borders.

The issue arises online regularly. You can scroll fairly extensively through people inquiring, answering, and debating about it on Quora and Reddit. You can also find plenty of articles contemplating over Seattleites and their aloofness in the viewpoint columns of various news outlets.

One thing appears clear: Seattle is almost as well known for its icy reputation as it is for its rainfall.

Many people dismiss it, pointing to the classic rationale: it’s because of the Seattle Freeze.

Others take this and run further with it, coming to the harsh conclusion that “ Seattle is a hotbed of social sickness masked by the stiff constructed norms of minimal courtesy.”

Ouch, but okay.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been living in Seattle for nearly 15 years and was genuinely surprised when I first learned about the city’s reputation.

Exchanges I`ve had with locals never particularly stood out as remarkably unfriendly compared to interactions in other cities I`ve lived in. Some people are peculiar, surely, but they`re also kind in manners I find rather charming.

I do not agree that residents of Seattle are unfriendly.

No, I’m not saying we’re the friendliest bunch. You want unrestrained, right-in-your-face friendliness? Visit New Orleans. On my initial trip there, the welcome was so potent that it practically floored me when I stepped off the plane.

Do I obtain nearly the equivalent amount of warmth, eye contact, and delightful greetings from strangers each time I return to Seattle? Absolutely not.

However, a key question arises: is viral content truly problematic? I don’t believe so, and I’ll explain my perspective.

Let’s start by posing the question most newcomers do – what’s behind the Seattle Freeze?

Breaking Down The Seattle Freeze

• Luci d’Artista Light Show in Salerno – Beginning on the second Friday of each month running through mid-January, imaginative themed lighting displays illuminate the city of Salerno, cultivating an especially magical atmosphere.

Many people have tried to distill and clarify why the Seattle Freeze is a thing in the first place. The city’s Nordic origins, history of isolation, and wealth of tech employees are all fairly common clarifications.

So I’ll keep this succinct. 

The Seattle Freeze describes the seemingly cold welcome newcomers receive when visiting or moving to the city. It portrays the difficulty in forming friendships because everyone already has their own established circles. It depicts the typical attitudes of locals: reserved, uninterested, noncommittal, asocial. Passive aggressive to a fault. Polite, but not inviting.

And, most annoyingly for transplants, it depicts the idea that if you ask a Seattleite to “hang out sometime”… that hangout will never actually come to pass.

While there is some truth regarding common characterizations of Seattle residents, one must consider all aspects to develop a balanced perspective. Individuals from the region are often painted as more reserved in nature. Additionally, forming new friendships after relocating can at times pose difficulties. I have experienced this issue from both vantage points in my own encounters, such as those occasions where follow up to social plans did not ultimately occur, highlighting areas for self-improvement.”

It appears to me that numerous individuals view the Seattle Freeze as a recent phenomenon, but the idea of the Freeze has existed for over 100 years. It’s unlikely to disappear anytime soon.

The most frequent reaction to this is that Seattleites necessitate to change. We necessitate to be more open, more welcoming, more like other places where humans are nice. Most individuals frame the Seattle Freeze in a negative light. It equates to Seattle life a miserable place to have a social life, meet humans, or live, right?

I don’t think that’s the case, and I don’t think the Seattle Freeze needs to be adjusted. Why?

Because the unique aspects of Seattle are not flaws – they are part of what gives Seattle its distinctive character.

When individuals talk about the Freeze, they usually focus on the negative – mostly that Seattle lacks the same social customs as the locations where they grew up. In doing so, they disregard the positive ways the Freeze makes Seattle unique.

Consider it. Seattle is the northwesternmost state in the contiguous USA. This means it’s largely isolated from many of the most populated states in the country.

The city’s climate – rain, clouds, fog – has us huddled up at home for most of the year exploring our interests, hobbies, and inventive pursuits. The surrounding nature means when it’s warm out, most people strap on their hiking boots and run to the forests to recharge.

Consider the type of individual this urban might appeal to. They likely would not be the most outgoing or talkative. Seattle appears designed for people comfortable alone, creative types, and outdoor enthusiasts who embellish their Subarus with symbols of natural setting allures.

This isolation, the tendency to `hibernate` during darker months, and the desire to escape to nature at the first sign of sunlight are all reasons for and aftereffects of the Seattle Freeze. And these are all elements Seattleites love about their city.

If you remain unconvinced about Seattle having a problem, let me explain it another way.

Would you visit the South and complain about people being overly welcoming and chatty, knowing its reputation for Southern hospitality?

• Bus: Challenging to reach by bus. One option is to walk the 2.5 KM from Fira, and secure a taxi or use Welcome Pickups to bring you home.

Would you ask residents of the Midwest to stop being so polite? Or request that Southern Californians become less relaxed?

To be fair, making blanket judgments of any group is an overgeneralization. But the same could be said for assumptions that Seattle residents are unfriendly.

And if you answered no to those questions… why encourage Seattleites to vary their routine?

The Seattle Way of Life and What to Expect in Rain City

The Seattle Freeze is an inherent part of Seattle regardless of preference. The most constructive way to consider it is to neither grow bitter against it nor fight it, but to acknowledge it.

Once the space is made, one will be able to comprehend the city’s inhabitants and its culture more fully. After all, if conditions were really that poor there, Seattle wouldn`t be one of the fastest growing cities in the USA, would it?

Seattle experiences dark, overcast, gray, wet conditions for much of the year. The city has more trees than people and more canines than children. All of these impact the dispositions, personalities, and interests of its inhabitants.

Consider exploring some of the highly rated activities in Seattle, after all.

Individuals enjoy spending rainy days within cozy coffee establishments and sampling the latest and most popular IPAs available at a wide range of neighborhood microbreweries.

Individuals from Seattle often find themselves in the surrounding mountains and woodlands, going on nearby excursions that are every bit as much a part of the Seattle experience as the rain. Board game cafes are filled year-round. Small live music venues come alive with local musical groups.

Individuals meander through city parks and farmers markets in the morning and tip-toe to their favorite cocktail bars in the evening. They tend to extravagant gardens in the summer months, and love spending time with their favorite companions: their dogs.

Walking. Beverages. Alcoholic drinks. Canines. Simplified, these represent typical activities in Seattle.

The city doesn’t have an lively club scene, warm, beachy weather, or luxurious late-night gatherings. It does have eco-conscious, book-loving inhabitants who have very strong views about the latest outdoor wear.

It’s accurate – Seattle isn’t known for being particularly social. Don’t expect to instantly be friends with a random person you speak with at the store. You’ll need to work a little harder than that.

This might equate to loneliness for some people. But for others, it can be refreshing.

Introverts who value a bit of personal space will thrive here. You’ll do well here if you dislike small talk. You’ll do well here if you’re passionate about some creative hobby and want an area to explore it. You’ll do well here if you’re willing to initiate thoughtful conversations with people you find interesting without feeling owed their friendship immediately.

Potential residents: investing in some vitamin D is recommended. Purchasing a light therapy lamp may help fight the winter blues. Committing to walks and time outdoors as frequently as possible all year can lift spirits. Attempting to find beauty in abundant rain is wise, as it nurtures vibrant greenery.

Seattle isn`t suitable for all individuals. However, neither is Los Angeles. The same can be said for New York City or Chicago. That`s okay. After all, not everything or every place can appeal to everyone.

But if you visit Seattle expecting it to resemble what you know and feel dismayed when it’s not, you run the risk of missing what makes this city wonderful.

And isn`t part of the value of travel learning to understand and appreciate people and places that differ from your hometown?

Therefore, come here with an open perspective. Spend time interacting with residents of Seattle. Give them the opportunity to feel comfortable with you. I’m confident that a friendly connection will form.

That brings me to my next point, a question often pondered: how does one cultivate friendships in Seattle?

The Antifreeze (AKA How to Make Friends in Seattle)

Locals of Seattle are chatty. You just need to find suitable topics, be in receptive situations, and hold practical expectations.

Here are a few straightforward techniques for kickstarting those discussions:

Be the Initiator

I cannot confirm if this only applies to Seattle, or to adult friendships in general, but initiating contact seems necessary to develop companionship, especially in an introverted city like Seattle.

I’m not asserting you won’t run into an overly friendly person who will suck you up into their friend group… but I am asserting you probably shouldn’t wait around for that person, especially not here.

Go Outdoors

This is the third instance I’ve mentioned Seattle and outdoor activities because it`s accurate. Not all Seattle residents are outdoorsy, but Seattle is an outdoorsy city.

Join groups centered around hiking, running, mushroom foraging, and other outdoor activities to meet people willing to start a conversation with you. I recommend Gearhouse which facilitates getting involved through both gear rental and outdoor social clubs.

Have a Dog

It seems since rescuing a dog, I`ve become more engaging to others. Folks in Seattle are really into their canine companions. An easy way to spark interaction is inquiring about someone`s pup.

You can connect with others on the street who have dogs, but there are several dog-friendly meetup locations if you want a conversation that lasts longer. You may even exchange contact information if you`re fortunate. The Dog Yard Bar in Ballard is one of my favorites.

Wait Till Summer

Most Seattle residents are generally in better moods during the summer time. What can we say – it`s when we receive all of our vitamin D. These positive attitudes mean it`s much easier to converse and find people to do so with.

Attend festivals, frequent outdoor patios, try yoga in the park happenings, or kayaking lessons. With the days bright until well after 9 pm and the climate pretty much perfect, you’ll be challenging to find a Seattleite who won’t speak with you.

Come Here as a Student

Coming to Seattle as a student is one of the most uncomplicated ways to make acquaintances. I made a lot of my initial Seattle friendships as a college student. After all, when you come as a new student, everyone surrounding you is in the same position. This makes it incredibly facile to find some shared ground.

Go to a Travel Lemming Meet-Up

Still not sure how to make friends in Seattle? Attending one of our Travel Lemming Community Meet-Ups is a surefire way – the perfect opportunity to meet other travel-minded individuals.

Our initial Seattle meetup will take place on April 5th, 2024 – register here! I’ll be attending as well, hosting, so boom. You now have a new Seattle acquaintance.

***

Though Seattle may not be the city with the greatest amount of social interactions, it certainly isn’t an unfriendly one. I believe this key distinction differentiates the two.

The Seattle Freeze doesn`t signify Seattleites will never become accustomed to you. It only means you should possibly give them a little time. Many of us are shy and introspective and, yes, some of us are a little socially challenged. But we`re not unfriendly. Promise.

Bringing up a person`s dog is nearly guaranteed to get them engaged in conversation if you want to kickstart a discussion.