Article Summary:
- I allowed each of my four children to select at least one thing we all did during family vacations.
- This ensures that all participants have an opportunity to engage in one activity that particularly interests them.
- We won’t be able to experience everything at our destination on a family trip. But we can ensure everyone feels heard and knows their opinions are valued.
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I thought about what we needed to take for four kids, all ten and under. I pondered about how and when we would give them food and how much it would cost. I definitely thought about how we’d get through the day without losing anyone.
And I worried about making sure we hit up the rides that each kid would enjoy. there is a big difference between a 2-year-old little girl and a tween boy. I did not want the middle children getting left out either.
That’s when I thought of a practice that, 11 years later, we still do when we take family vacations together: each person selects one activity they truly want to do. And if we do nothing else for our entire trip, we make every effort to do those things.
We can’t experience all of the attractions at Disneyland. But six rides at Disneyland? That, we can manage! Anything we get to do after that is just a bonus.
We cannot complete every activity that exists in the major city of Los Angeles or other significant urban areas. However, we can ensure we accomplish the single thing each individual is looking forward to most. And anything else we do afterwards is just a nice extra benefit.
The Key Benefits of Allowing Kids to Participate in Trip Planning
As we’ve done this over the years, I’ve realized there are several advantages for our family. I didn’t even expect some of them when we started trying this.
- Every person feels heard and valued. It can be easy for older kids or kids with stronger personalities to dominate decisions in a family. This approach grants everyone equal input in our activities.
- It ensures I don’t miss anything. As parents, we’re accustomed to making most decisions. You can’t have an entire vacation planned by a 4-year-old. But it also implies we might overlook something the kids want to do since it simply didn’t occur to us.
- It teaches kids how to travel in a group. They’re learning it’s a balance of doing what they want, and what others want. With any luck, this will continue when they travel with friends in college, or loved ones throughout their lives.
- It teaches them to prioritize. I’m hoping this proves another helpful travel skill. You don’t always have time to see everything on a trip. I want them to be able to make tough decisions about what to see — and to realize they don’t need to do everything to enjoy a trip.
There Are Other Things I’ve Noticed After Years of Consulting The Kids on Trips…
This works for all sizes of families, not just big ones.
Developing the ability to balance personal preferences with consideration for others is a valuable skill for all children to cultivate, whether in larger or smaller families. Small families may allow kids more leeway choosing activities, but compromise through turn-taking different choices each person selects is still applicable.
Parents, don’t forget yourselves!
If you find yourself, like myself, frequently making certain the young ones are having fun and getting opportunities to do what interests them during a trip. However, this vacation time belongs to you as well! If you`re willing to go along with what interests the kids, they too can agree to your selection of a family activity.
As soon as kids are old enough to understand what’s happening, they can start helping to plan.
On that initial Disneyland trip with four children, our 2-year-old wasn’t sufficiently mature to independently choose activities. But we made sure to plan some slower rides and things we knew she’d enjoy. And soon after, she had plenty of opinions on what to do, along with everyone else in the family.
Young ones occasionally come up with amazing concepts. We intended an entire trip to Bryce Canyon National Park because my child spotted a photo of the hoodoos. He was fascinated when he learned they were at an actual spot on Earth. Therefore we drove to Utah to inspect them.
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Start by letting them pick an activity or two on vacation, and who knows where you’ll end up!
At the end of our vacation, we debrief.
This path in the hills towers high above the San Francisco city below. Located in San Bruno Mountain State and County Park, the Summit Loop Trail is home to endangered Northern California flora and fauna.
The chosen activity may influence their experience. The selected activity could have been picked by themselves or someone else. Occasionally, they surprise themselves by enjoying something they did not initially want to partake in.
And at times, their preferred part is something entirely improvised. It might be an in-between instant when we had dinner at a local restaurant or a stop for an impromptu concert in the park.
I am consistently surprised by everyone`s favorite moments. At times, they are even activities I felt went poorly (and commonly blame myself for!). And eventually, I discovered one of the kids genuinely enjoyed that day.
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This practice of obtaining everyone’s input has led all of us to try new experiences. I’m hoping it’s also helping us to lead lives of adventure together.
See my list of suggestions for family vacation planning for more of my thoughts on preparing for a trip with family!
